October 21, 2013

7 Week Bumperoo | Pregnant with our Rainbow Sprout

hello again!

here we are for another bumpdate!

right to it, here's the 7 week pic!

i'm still learning to embrace this 'body' and just accept and be grateful. i am still incredibly self conscious about my baby belly. the ridiculous and sometimes rude comments had been getting to my head. i am learning to brush that off and say to hell with them. anyone who knows us and knows our story knows of the journey we've taken to get to this point.

basically, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.

now moving on :)

symptom time!

the number 1 culprit this week?



i though maybe, just maybe i had escaped this wretched wench. but alas, here we are hand in hand. it pretty much just lingers throughout the whole day. as long as i stay constantly eating i'm in the clear - with just a slight lingering of the nausea. if i don't then it's nausea on the brink of throwing up. i haven't yet actually throwin up, but i have felt obnoxiously close to it. what's worse though is that food is unappealing to me. if you know me at all you know J and i LOVE food. we would travel the world and eat at different places if we could. but right now i can't stand anything! i never have a taste for anything and nothing ever sounds good. i pretty well just have to force myself to eat at least every 2 hours. and on top of that, when i do eat it's never enough to make me feel satisfied.  it's like i pretty much stay hungry.


as much as i detest being nauseated 24/7 i am also embracing it. i am thankful for it. you may not be able to tell when you talk to me on a daily basis (i'm the worse sick person EVER) but i really am. it just affirms to me that stuff is working right. little rainbow is doing work and working hard to make sure he/she meets us in real life one day. it keeps me hopeful and happy all the while keeping me grumpy. :)

i'm still tired. and exhausted. all i want to do is sleep. and ever since the nausea started the exhaustion has gotten worse. i try to rest as often as i can. and of course take it easy. but sometimes it's not possible when i work a full time job and am in nursing school. BUT, it's NOTHING i can't handle :) and every bump along the way is completely worth it.

still thirsty.

boobs still hurt.

headaches have definitely gotten better. so thankful for that for sure.

ultimately i am just overjoyed and thrilled. i hate to sound like i'm 'complaining.' i am really just ready to fully enjoy being pregnant.. it's just a wee bit hard to do when you feel like poo all the time. but i know it's temporary. and just to think i'm already 7 weeks! i'm already halfway done with the first trimester. it's amazing really.

i'm still incredibly baffled each and every day. i'm finally starting to 'feel' pregnant. the nausea has definietly encouraged that feeling :) but mostly i feel like i am finally accepting that this is truly happening. after everything we've gone through. everything we've conquered. everything we've survived. and we still get a happy chapter out of it.

it's been quite the humbling experience so far. i miss my girl each and every day. but i find comfort in knowing they already know each other.

October 14, 2013

6 Week Bumperoo | Pregnant with our Rainbow Sprout

Ahhhhhh.... I still can't believe i am posting these updates. it's been a dream. and sometimes an incredibly far-fetched dream. but it's real. i am constantly reminding myself everyday that this is really happening. i don't know if i'll ever get used to this.

it's amazing though really.

today j and i were talking at lunch. i told him i can't wait to meet him. yup... we're calling Rainbow a 'him.' we've 'known' since before we ever got pregnant we were going to have a boy next. we'll have to wait and find out but we're pretty certain. hehe...

before i get into all the deets of this past week here's the 6 week Bumperoo shot :)

I feel like i look so much more 'pregnant' then i really am in all actuality. i know alot of that is bloat and food haha. it kinda scares me.. i'm already 'showing' this much now and i'm barely halfway through the FIRST trimester!! i didn't start showing this much with Savanna until i was like 20 week!!!

let me see if i can find my 6 week pic with Savanna.

Ok so this is all i could find.. don't feel like getting my lazy pregnant ass off the recliner. :) i'm 10 weeks in this pic above and i'm still not as 'big' as i am now


so i just keep telling myself it's because you show quicker with the second. it tends to make me feel a wee bit better.

in terms of how i'm feeling.. not too bad actually.

the bloat has eased up for the most part BUT does sneak it's way in. i'm sure it's a certain something i'm eating that's causing it but i'm not paying enough attention to notice what exactly it is.

the thirst still stole the show this past week! all i CRAVED was water!!! so that's all i pretty much drank. and of course because i drank the worlds amount in water i peed the worlds amount in water.

i'm starting to wake up in the middle of the night to pee.. blegh. i like my sleep. i hate peeing. it's quite inconvenient let me just say that.

boobs -- yup still hurt. and. they feel like freakin boulders. (sorry if you didn't want to really know that but you must know there will be talks of things such as this on a pregnancy blog hehe) ps at least im not talking of lady bits and things ;)

swelling... WTF?!?! already???? i am angry at this symptom. haha. but really it's irritating. it's more intermittent that constant. i wake up and my hands and feet  feel like human snausages (yes i meant sNausage). by mid morning to afternoon the swelling goes down. not sure why i'm already retaining water. but it sucks. for reals! i can still wear my wedding ring, BUT there was a day where it was a wee bit uncomfortable.

still not feeling sick (thank goodness). i know i'm not out of the woods yet. but keeping my fingers crossed.

i'm ALWAYS hungry. i can definitely tell when i need to eat. it's like my stomach starts talking to me and anyone near by. pretty well i'm just constantly snacking. and of course trying to keep some healthy options.

PREGNANCY BRAIN!!!! its the worst! i am forgetting WHOLE CONVERSATIONS! who does that??? me that's who. i may as well be in a vegetative state. (i feel like i've said that before?) i mean, if you know me at all you know that i am a little off the wall at times BUT it's getting slightly out of hand now.

EXHAUSTION. i am so incredibly tired and un motivated to do anything! remember what i said about peeing? it's exhausting! just the act of walking to the bathroom and going through the motions. cleaning my kitchen? yea doesn't happen. you should see the mounds of laundry that need to be done. it's either spend my energy on homework or cleaning.. i have to chose homework. hah. i take naps as often as i can. and go to sleep as early as possible. 

as far as clothes? pants don't fit anymore. i did the rubber band trick this week for church. went and bought a belly band today and some more yoga pants. i need more comfort in my life right now. :) 

emotionally i'm a roller coaster. i have days that i feel extra cry-ee. and others that i don't. most of the time i'm a wee bit snippy and sarcastic (but not in a dry funny kinda way) mostly towards J. him thinks it funny to poke fun at the pregnant chick he knocked up. me thinks i'd like to punch him in the nose :)

i am still coming to grips with the fact that i get to be an earthly mom again. it still takes my breath away and makes my heart go pitter patter. i already love Rainbow Sprout so much. i still feel an empty tugless hole.. but somehow the hole doesn't seem quite so deep and treacherous. it seems more bearable. and it comforts me think that our sweet Savanna has already met and molded their baby brother or sister. so they're not strangers. they're already best friends.

that makes me smile lots :)

October 8, 2013

5 Week Bumperoo | Pregnant with our Rainbow Sprout

Well here it is!! my first bumperoo!!! also to be known as my weekly pregnancy update.

it's still so incredibly strange that i'm making this post right now.. still so surreal.

i asked j last night if it seemed real to him yet.. nope he says.. i agree i say. to think we've worked so incredibly hard these last 2.5 years-- in our grief journey, our marriage journey, our personal journeys, and our infertility journey. whew! but i will have to say that getting that BFP (big fat positive) makes every bump and bruise so dang worth it!

so let's just get right to it shall we??

i am 'technically' 5 weeks and 3 days as of today. this is all going off of my lmp (last menstrual period) (don't worry you'll catch on to the baby-makin jargon eventually ;) ) i plugged the numbers into pregnology.com and that's what i got!

in terms of how i'm feeling.. well i don't feel pregnant haha. mostly just frumpy and fat right now. as it is i am about 30 lbs overweight so that doesn't help with the confidence at all! but it is what it is right?!


tired all the time! i sleep all the time! if you know me at all you know i'm not a nap taker. well.. i am now officially a nap taker. the longer the better! the house is falling behind because i'd rather sleep then wash the dishes. :) 

no real morning sickness it's more like evening sickness and if-i-wait-too-long-to-eat-sickness. no throwing up just nauseated. like annoyingly nauseated.

THIRSTY!!!! all.the.time! i wake up thirsty. i go to bed thirsty. i'm thirsty while i'm chugging down gobs of water!

the pee monster! yup, he's got a hold of me.. i'm sure it's because i'm drinking my weight in water that i'm peeing all the time, but it definitely doesn't seem to take long for my bladder to recognize their is urination to be done.

sore ta-tas. that is all about that.

having some mild cramping which i know is totally normal, but can't help to freak a wee bit when it happens. it has eased up quite a bit this last week, so that i am greatful for. just another reasurance all is working properly :)

smells... i'm like a bloodhound. you can't hide that sneaker fart from me! 

bloat. bloat. bloat. this has GOT to be my #1 symptom right now! it's so incredibly uncomfortable i want to deflate it with a pin.

all in all.. it seems weird but i welcome these things. as uncomfortable and cranky, and irritable, and gross i may feel.. i'm totally ok with it! (well except for today when J was helping me take my bumperoo pics and i made him re-take them 100 times because i didn't like the way i looked.. but meh minor details)

i'm just grateful and feel just so incredibly blessed to be able to experience this journey once again. i had honestly began to reach a point where i really wasn't sure it was going to happen. i was pretty well ready to give up on motherhood. so i'd say it came at the right time. and i know i keep saying it over and over but even as i type this i'm still in complete and utter shock and disbelief.

i still can't believe this is our life. it's weird.

in terms of doctors appts, we went to my primary last thursday (2 days after we too the HPT {home pregnancy test}) and got blood work done so i could get my referral to the obgyn. The blood work came back POSITIVE! even though we knew it still was so reasuring to get that affirmation from the doctor as well. after receiveing the results they made my appt and sent over the referral.

we will go to our first prenatal visit November 7!!! I will be roughly 9 weeks 4 days! so here's to hoping for a heart beat.

next topic.. clothing/weigh/size

clothes don't fit. unless they have an elastic band ha! i know they say that you show much faster with your second but sheesh! like i said ^ there i know the extra poundage im danglin around is not helpful at all. i've gained 2 lbs so far since i last weighed myself. so i'm gonna say that that weight was obtained in the last month or so.

no cravings as of yet.

no food aversions.

emotionally i'm coping.. there are so many emotions that i can't quite make them all out yet. they all just seem to run together. i will say it does feel nice to see a commercial of a baby or to see a pregnant woman walking across the street and not feel extreme jealousy followed by guilt. it's refreshing.

heres a few more belly shots for ya :)

here is the 4 weeker (pretty much when we found out)

October 7, 2013

Just Trust

I can't believe I'm making this post... It doesn't seem real...




and loss

but in His timing, it happens

it really does

if you trust in His plan

miracles can happen

even when you reach a point that you think it won't

it's just when you think that maybe you should just give up on your hope and ream

that maybe you should release the thought of having a certain life

God surprises you

and teaches you

that your life is planned

and all you have to do is relinquish the control

so i did..... i let go of the control

after 2.5 years and a failed IUI attempt

all on our own and His time....

Rainbow BeanSprout is due to join our world June 2014 and we couldn't be happier!!

Look for bumpdates to come!!!!

Thanks so much to everyone who has continued to follow on our journey and support us through every step of the way.