The Never Ending Weight Loss Journey

by show of virtual hands... how many can you relate to this??

i think forever and ever, as far as i can remember (post-high school) i have always been on this journey. i can really only remember a single time in all my 27 years that i was pleasantly pleased with my appearance and self-image... whilst i was PREGNANT!

that was over 3 years ago....

right before i found out i was pregnant i had actually started to get back down to weight and look i was pleased with. damn marriage does it to you everytime! you simply get too comfortable and eat out entirely too much. i believe Justin and i both packed on a few pounds those first couple years of marriage.

then we decided it was time to make a change.. he had to get hard core PT at work and i just didn't want to be huge once i finally got pregnant (in case i've confused you i'm speaking about before i got pregnant with Savanna but after we got married ;)  )

so Justin and I decided to do p90x. we followed the diet and the workout to a T. Justin stopped the workouts after about 2 wks becuase like i said ^ there... he had to workout for work.

but i kept going. i did it for about 6 weeks and then stopped.

because i found out i was pregnant ;)

6 inches and 15 pounds less here's me..

this was also the day we found out we were pregnant. gah.. looking at this picture depresses me.

i only gained 27 lbs in my pregnancy .

dropped 10 of it after i popped her out.

lost the other 17 while breastfeeding..

and then at 8 weeks new, my sweet girl decided she didn't like the boob anymore and just stopped.

completely.

in retrospect, i probably could have pushed through and we'd have made it to my first 6 month mini goal BUT we were getting ready to move across the country, i was highly stressed, about to leave my family and friends and a home i had created for the last 13 years. leaving that to a place of unknown.

anyway, that's another blog.

moral of the story.. i quit breastfeeding -- but kept eating like i was breastfeeding.

and so began the journey of the weight GAIN.

in the last 3 years or so since that day i made the decision to cease the nursing, my body has undergone some dramatic changes. the picture you see up above is a mere figment of my imagination. i am now only a mere 3 lbs away from the weight i was when i was pregnant with Savanna.

difference is?

there's no bun cookin in the oven.. unless you count the gobs of carbs i devoured from the mexican food potluck of course ;)

since gaining the weight after the birth and post breastfeeding i have tried every diet imaginable.

hsg -- AWFUL

south beach -- expensive

paleo -- tiring

low carb -- starving!

low cal -- blegh

basically.. i've done a little of this and a little of that only lasting the most 1 month (the paleo). otherwise i've thrown in the towel, given up, and binged at the first fast food joint i saw.

clearly i am unhappy in my appearance.

the other night we went out with some friends.. i had to settle on some skinny jeans with a STRETCH waist band bc NOTHING else fit.. especially not the cute shorts.. not that i wanted to sport my hail damaged legs or anything.

so now.. i am deciding. it's time for change. i'm tired of constantly complaining but then going to the burrito shop down the street from my job and ordering their biggest breakfast burrito.

with us trying to get pregnant and me being at the weight i am at and leading the lifestyle  i am.. no good can come of it. my pregnancy with Savanna was so incredibly smooth and i know ALOT of that is owed to the fact i was healthy and worked out daily. i am fearful of what a 2nd pregnancy will do to my body with the condition i've left it in at this point.

i need to get back to that place.

i need to find motivation again.

so today I had a meeting with my very sweet dietician friend S. she's amazing! she made me up a meal plan, gave me some AMAZING tips -- which i will share with you as i take you along with me on this journey ;)

the best thing tho?? she's keeping me accountable!! sure.. Justin can try to hold me accountable except for one problem.. he's my husband. instead of taking his advice or his bantering  encouragement lightheartedly instead i want to punch him in the face. (literally not metaphorically) don't worry -- no Justin's were injured in this process :).

AND she's going to work out with me.. i'm telling her my schedule and then i have to meet up with her and sh'es going to basically tell me what to do.

is it weird that i'm excited? as i sit here typing this i can feel the wrath of my gross protruding gut quiver at the fearfulness that is about to occur.

i have an addiction to food and an addiction to lazy.

and it's time to change that.

i'll take you on my little journey.. posting tips, tricks, meals and workouts as we go along. and maybe some progression photos..

what are some things you have done or have found challenging during your never ending weight loss journey?