December 15, 2010

Ladybug...


Ladybug: small round bright-colored and spotted
Ladybug: Perhaps best known as an emblem of luck
Ladybug: a symbol of protection
Ladybug: a good omen


A couple days after Savanna passed away, OW called me and said she was driving in her car thinking of us and Savanna in her ladybug costume when along a ladybug came and planted itself on her arm. At the time I thought, Savanna is finding a way to comfort her and in turn she was able to share that story with us. Never thought anything more of it. Than a few days after that another friend of mine shared that their symbol for their daughter who also passed was a ladybug. I thought, how great, the girls are letting the mommies know they are playing together in the clouds with the Lord at their side. Than I never thought anything else about it.

Than today, I received a message from my mom. She too had been encountering these little aphid eating beetles. Finally, she decided to do some research. And what she found gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.. here were her findings...

"It is the ultimate symbol of
the soul. It is protected by Mary mother
of Jesus. Symbol of good things to come. The ladybug is a messenger
from God..."

If that didn't give you chill bumps I don't know what will! All along God has been telling me that Savanna is Ok in one way or another. Through friends and family. Never did I realize such a small thing was something so great! So than I thought of her Halloween costume, she was a ladybug! Talk about symbolism!! (That's for all you English teachers out there.. especially you JE :)) See I paid attention in class!

Everyday, Justin and I find new and amazing things, signs that God was trying to prepare us. This just seems like another thing. Some of you may think, it's just a coincidence. Maybe some of you may even think we're just trying to find something to hold onto. But after experiencing what I've experienced, I'm not so sure I believe in coincidences. What do you have to lose to have faith in something bigger than you? Nothing! In fact we have so much more to gain...

I don't pretend to be the all knowing, and some days I have my problems with God, but for selfish reasons. I will no longer get to hold her, hug her, kiss her, scold her :) But I will ALWAYS get to love her and cherish all of the memories we have together. It's only right that she is sitting at the right hand of God, she was our ladybug, our direct link from God. She was our messenger.

She taught us to laugh more. She taught us to hug our loved ones tighter. She taught us to be more patient. She taught us to take in each day as a blessing. Most importantly she taught us unconditional love. No strings attached, no alterior motives, just to love. It seems so SIMPLE yet we make it so difficult. For those gifts I am forever greatful.

So the next time you see a ladybug, real or fake, remember what it means, and remember my angel. She is still working God's plan and sending us messages always and everyday.


Dance with the angels baby girl

5 blessings, thoughts. &. feelings:

Kelsey said...

You are so wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing that! How blessed you are to have your little angel watching over you. I know just know that God loves you so much, and how awesome it is that he has given you this experience!

Much love!

Unknown said...

Im crying and I love this Blog, Keep wrighting tabs, Its really very great and heart felt. Next time Noah brings me in a lady bug, I will remember this Blog. I love you

Unknown said...

Tabby, thank you for posting this. I can see the strength that God is giving you through all the "little signs". He is amazing and just remember that soon we all will be reunited again!

Brittney said...

This is such a special blog! I can't keep my eyes dry! It makes me wonder.... what am I looking over? To be blessed with such tender mercies is just proof that Heaveny Father loves you and Justin so much. Savanna I know is forever smiling upon you and all those that love her! I find it so amazing how one sweet baby girl can bless the lives across America. I love lady bugs... I'll never look at them the same:)

Julia said...

Tab, You seem to just amaze me more and more every day. You have been such a source of strength for me for the past five years - and that continues now, even when I should be there for you. I think back to all that you have taught me, not just now, but as long as I've known you - and I'm supposed to be the teacher. You have been such a spiritual guide for me, and I'm supposed to be the one who grew up as a preacher's kid. Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are, and will continue to be. Savanna was so blessed to have you for her Mommy.