Like I said previously, there was really nothing about this day that was extraordinary. Sure I had my sad moments, but they were quickly brushed away by the happy ones. First off, J had to work today. (boo to the snow and ice that gave him 3 days off, but took away our weekend!) I faintly remember him kissing me on the forehead on his way out the door, a noise came out of my mouth, a grunt maybe, a mumble. In my mind I said 'I love you' he responded with something back, but than I fell back into my comatose sleep. I awoke at 930 feeling refreshed. I woke up went pee, let Meela out, checked my Facebook, checked my email, checked my blog and cruised the net.... IN BED! It was fantastic... I had music playing in the background and I was sitting in my PJ's without an agenda. I than came to find that the kids I coached for were performing, and the competition was getting streamed live on the internet. (Oh how I love you internet) So I got to giddily watch my kids perform. Those kids, that program, those coaches will forever always have a little piece of me, and made me feel as if I were back there again. I'm sure if the windows were open the neighbors would think I was nuts... cheering them on, hootin' and hollerin'. In the aftermath, I was pretty embarrassed for myself.
|All the goodies I got today|
|J's new bible and case|
|My new case|
Once we got back we unloaded and I started scrap booking! I find it so relaxing and fun.. always brings back the memories from those little snippets in time. J watched TV, I scrap booked... it was a perfect end to a wonderful day. J headed to bed (he has to work again tomorrow!) I cleaned up the horrendous mess I made with stickers, paper, scissors and glue, and now here I sit clicking away at the keyboard, sharing my adventures. And that was my day! Like I said, nothing short of spectacular, probably very average, boring day for the average Joe.. but for me it was spectacular. It was a day for me, a day for J and me a day that I could smile.
|These are all of the pages I did tonight|
As I went through my day I still thought about her. I still miss her and I still wish she were here with me. But rather than the darkness settling in as I thought of her it was light. Rather than tears, the memories and the moments brought joy. As the darkness tried to creep in I forcefully pushed it away. Today was my day, a day for me.. and I refused to let the shadows overpower me. Perhaps my Savanna was giving me an extra push today and used her little angel power dust on me. She knew how badly I needed it, I needed a break from the pressures and the dark. So although it may have just been an average day to most, to me it was a wonderfully fantastical kind of day. It was a day with no dark and a great deal of hope. Hope and peace that is reassuring and inspires me to keep going. You know the saying don't you? "One wo/man's junk is another wo/man's treasure." Well I have re-mixed it "One wo/man's average day is another wo/man's stupendously awesome day." never take the average days for granted. Open not just your eyes, but your hearts, breathe in the beauty and soak up the warmth. Those tiny small moments in time are so precious and dear. And remember, once this minute has passed, it's gone and you can't get it back. They say to treat every day like it's your last--I say treat everyday like it's your first.
And now, tonight, I will lay my head upon my pillow and hope that I will awake tomorrow with the same light and the same renewal. I never know if I'm going to, not until I open my eyes and swing my legs over the ledge preparing to leap off. Each day I take that leap. I take that leap for Savanna, and I take it because she's worth it.