Memories on Mondays

This blog has become a wonderful place for me to vent, to find friends, sort my thoughts, be real.. and so much more. I also wan this place to be one that I can remember. I can feel some of my Savanna memories fading from my mind. It scares me.. it's how I stay connected with her. It's how I make myself feel close to her still. So I have decided at least once a week.. if not more--but at least once, I am going to remember. I am going to live in the past for a few minutes out of the day. I am going to go back to that place with Savanna. And than maybe, when I feel that anxious feeling of forgetting, I can read back and look back and be reminded. I feel her slipping from me... I will do anything to keep that from happening.

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I loathe doing laundry. Absolutely despise it. I am an instant gratification kind of person.. with laundry you have ZERO gratification. As soon as all laundry is finished.. the basket is already half full. I don't mind throwing it in.. it's the folding and the putting away that I detest the most. If I could, I would hire someone to come in and just do my laundry. Well on this particular weekend I was getting ready to start laundry. Savanna was going through a stage of separation anxiety. As soon as you left the room... the waterworks would start. As soon as I stepped foot back into the room, she would look up at me with her big blue eyes and smile.. how could I not sit with her? Well, the laundry was hauntingly calling my name, and the hours in the day were dwindling down. I had to get it down.. or we would have no underwear for the week!


So, I leave the room.. and whatya know.. she starts crying. Well, I started thinking.. how can I get her to be with me while I do the laundry.. and than it hit me. I ran to the room (yes she is still crying) grab the laundry basket and bring it into the living room. Pick her up and....

Do you totally dig the carrot covered bib?!?

and plopped her right in the laundry basket. How convenient right?! Now she could sit there and see me.. play in the clothes.. and I could still take care of mommy business! So of course, I am picture crazy and had to take some pictures... and she very willingly posed for the camera. She is a total HAM!!

We were about to go do the laundry, when I heard daddy pull up. (He was out shopping I believe) So I turned her towards the door so she could greet him at the door.

She sees her daddy through the door! You can see the sides of her tiny mouth beginning to curl.. and a little spark in her eye. She loves her daddy!! He laughed at me.. laughed at her and scooped her up. Well now I could continue doing laundry without fussing or crying. Daddy entertained and mommy cleaned. Go figure! Well it was time to fold the clothes. Remember that's my least favorite part. And of course as I fold.. Savanna wants to UN-fold..

It would always make me laugh.. the folded clothes were a magnet. As soon as they were folded she made a bee line for them. I would start to get a little annoyed.. but then I would look at her little face.

I mean look at that face.. could you get mad at that?? Laundry just isn't the same anymore. But I am so thankful I have these moments to reflect on.

I have been missing the little things today..

those little tootsies

Those little hands

the sad face.. my favorite face

I miss it all.. wishing her breaths were with mine.. her heart beating next to me. Missing her love.