March 31, 2011

New job and update

I got a new job. Pretty exciting stuff! I will be a tech for a dialysis center. And what's better is they pay for nursing school--100%!!!! J was pretty excited when I told him about that.. I think his pocket book took a sigh of relief.. But with getting a new job, it means I had an old one. Which means I had to leave one. This job was the last place I thought I would ever be. When we moved to TX I was a stay at home mom. I had the intent of eventually going back to work, but was enjoying my time at home with little bit. And then a month passed and I felt like i was ready to go back to work. As much as I enjoyed every minute with her, I was going stir crazy. We were in a new town, and only knew one other couple. I needed some outside stimulation. and there is only so much to do in this town before it comes extremely repetitive. So... i went looking. I never had a hard time finding a job.. at least not in a big city like Phx. But out here--it was rather difficult. After 3 interviews and 3 NO call backs, I was getting discouraged. So I decided to try out a temp agency.. I had a job within a month!

It would be at a title company as an escrow assistant. huh?? I know! That's what I thought when they told me. Sure I had bought house before.. but never did I know what a title company did. Well I found out! There was much more involved in the purchase of a home then my little brain could wrap it's head around! I was learning a great deal about the real estate business. It was interesting, and each file was different. Not to mention, the people I worked with are absolutely wonderful. Always patient, never judging, and would ask the same question I asked over and over. To top it off, they are a christian based office, took prayer requests at every Monday meeting and played Christian music in the office. I loved it! It was the perfect place, but it wasn't the perfect career. It's not what I ultimately wanted to do with my life. I want to be a nurse. I'm about halfway there to apply for nursing school -- i took the long way. (after many detours and LOTS of life lessons, i finally got my act together!)

After being with the title company for a couple months (as a temp) I received a possible employment opportunity at a dialysis center. J looked into it a little, but it didn't sound condusive with our schedule. Crazy hours, overtime--I was still a new mommy. And although I was a temp, there was word going round that they would be offering me a full time position. So I never persued it further. Then a couple months later... Savanna passed away. The title company was wonderful. Although i was not technically a 'full time' employee.. they gave me all the time I needed. They prayed for me, prayed with me. Sent flowers, offered to cook meals for us. My boss even came to the hospital the night that it all happened. Between the funeral and the memorial service I was out of work for 3 weeks. J had to go back to work, so I decided it would be better I work then stay at home. So I went back. They were absolutely wonderful around me. There was no walking on egg shells. I was able to talk about Savanna as I needed, cried as I needed. There was never any pressure to 'pretend.' I could run to the back to cry if I needed and no one ever judged me. They had all met Savanna before, and naturally I had always talked about her and brought pictures. So, I'm fairly certain they all loved her too.

But honestly, have you seen her pictures?? it's so hard to NOT fall in love with that face!! (maybe I'm biased??!) So they all cried with me some days and talked me through some very difficult moments. Well that job opportunity? Ya, second time--it pops up. How could I possibly leave this place and these people? They have been incredibly compassionate with me. So patient.. Some days I would trail in a little late due to rough mornings.. but there they were with open arms supporting me as best they knew how. They never made me feel like I had to 'move on' or hurry up and grieve. So, I didn't dive any further into the other job. How could I leave them? They had done so much for me.

Then a couple months after that ( about a month ago) I received an email. An email asking me if I would be interested in this position. Well, this was the third time... 1-2--3! So I said, 'Ok Lord, I get it. I'll look into it. If this is the path I am to take open the door, if it's not close it." It seemed the opportunity had knocked a few times now, clearly He was telling me to answer it! So, I agreed to an interview to see what it was about. I had a list of questions and was ready to go. And, well, the answers they had were more then satisfactory. Refer back to the first sentence.. yes that's right . 100% reimburse for nursing school.. that's over $8000 that will NOT come out of our pocket! Sure the hours are a little crazy.. but we can manage. I will get submerged into the field I want to be, and will be doing something fulfilling a path I feel has been paved for me.

So today I said goodbye to my old job and opened the door to my new one. But it seems now, as I reflect on it all.. I have said goodbye to more then just a job and people. I have said goodbye to part of my past. I have said goodbye to the memories of the call. Afterall, that is where I was when i found the news. It was that parking lot I ran through to get to my car. It was that parking lot I sped out of as I prayed my daughter was OK. That was the place I walked into everyday, looking at that spot, that phone and remembering what happened in that moment on that day. I'm saying goodbye to all of that and leaving it behind.

It's funny, that job. It came when it was supposed to. It served it's purpose in my life and now it's time to move forward. Kind of like Savanna. She served her earthly purpose, and it was time for her to move forward. Savanna died, and so did my need to be at that place. I could no longer look at it from the perspective of all the things they have done for me. At this point, I have to do what is right for J and I. I have to think about our family now and what is important to us. This will place me on a path to complete and carry on my journey. I will have ample opportunities to spread Savanna's story and share her legacy. it's the next part of my journey. I didn't listen at first, but I don't think I was meant to. I was made to listen in the time I was supposed to. And now, I take this new opportunity, this new experience, this 'fresh start' so to speak with arms wide and heart open.

I'm scared as hell. And I anticipate those awkward moments of the 'do you have any kids' questions. But I'm ready for it. As God as my strength, I will make it. and imagine, imagine all the lives Savanna can touch now.
*******
I wanted to give an update on our SFS campaign. For those that still would like to order a shirt to wear on April 29th (the profits from the shirts will be donated) tomorrow is the last day to make your order! We will continue to accept donations until April 29th!! Please email me if you have any questions!

As of now, I am so excited to share with you our progress thus far.

Remember that our goal was 30 shirts?? Well, we are at 43! Count them, 43!! Not only did we get 43 shirt orders, but people in 12 different states will be wearing a shirt with my baby girl's name on it! But it gets better.. We have received donations fro 38 stickers! We are only 62 away from our goal of 100 stickers! To receive a sticker/donation card you must donate a minimum of $5

Here is the doozy.. so far we have received $1260.00 in donations!! And we still have 29 days left!!! I am so excited to see all the people that have put in an effort to help us try to find an answer! I am in hopes that one day no parent will have to hear the word SIDS. Thank you to all who have participated so far and continue to spread our message and goal! Don't forget about the giveaway we are doing! You can read more about it here

14 blessings, thoughts. &. feelings:

Kandis Lara said...

CONGRATULATIONS Tab! how exciting! def. will continue to pray for you and J! I am absolutely thrilled for you and the wonderful opportunity the Lord has put in front of you! xoxo
Kandis

ashli said...

Oh my goodness!!!! Thats sooo exciting tabby!!

Pat Matejcek said...

Congratulations!! That is so exciting.

missliany said...

Congrats to you! And I just have to say how amazing you are, you are so strong, you continue to blow me away with every blog post you make. Savanna is so lucky to have you as her mommy!!

Love You Always & Forever said...

Hi:) You don't know me however I have been following your blog for about a week now. I check in on you often and often come by to read, cry and listen to your music. I am so so sorry about the loss of your beautiful precious daughter. I cannot even imagine the incredible pain you are dealing with. I pray for you all the time and often think of your daughter. I think I am so drawn to you because my daughter is 8 months old right now and we call her Ladybug/Addie Bug all the time. She responds to Ladybug better than her name. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that I awarded you a stylish blog award on my blog. I really hope this isn't deemed as inappropriate because I struggled for a very long time on weather I wanted to or not. In the end I took stylish as not only the style but how much I love a blog and it touches my heart. Yours touches my heart in ways I can't fully comprehend. There have only been 2 other babies that I followed that went to Heaven much to early that I felt a strong bond to...anyways, I am rambling now. If you'd like to check it out please do. If you don't want to I totally understand. Thank you and I keep you in my prayers.
http://leatherberryfamily.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-won-award.html

Stacie

shelandmattsnyder said...

Can you ship the stickers?

Tabatha said...

thanks everyone! shelandmattsnyder: yes I can ship the stickers. when you put your donation in it asks for your address and i will send one for every $5 donation :)

TanaLee Davis said...

This is such a happy post full of happy news! You are doing great.
~Felicia

Tena said...

Well just like everyone else I am so happy for you and your new adventure. I too feel that this is Gods time for you to move in a new direction. BUT I will miss your smile. You know where to find me if you need a hug or an ear. Love you.

New Year Mum said...

Congratulations... wonderful news :)) Great that they pay for extra training. Well done to a well deserving mum xoxo

Natasha said...

Congratulations on your new job! So happy for you! I know Savanna is proud of her mommy! So in my rush to sleep my day away yesterday I didn't get a chance to donate.....I hope it's not too late :) I'm going to try to do it now.

xoxo

Rebecca said...

That's fantastic news! Nurses are such wonderful and amazing people. I completed 3 years of nursing school but in the end never completed my degree--I kick myself in the butt all of he time for that!

I am very happy for you! :)

Sacha said...

Wow! Congrats on your new job. That's pretty awesome. My mom is a nurse too. She's retired now but nurses are wonderful. I've been in a dialysis center more times than I can remember. My ex husband had Alports which is a kidney disease. My daughter has it too. I hope you love your new job!!! Sacha

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