An update.. and a Request

There has been a lot going on lately. Trying to get our Spring for SIDS fundraising organized, getting ready for Savanna's first Birthday in Heaven, and just dealing with everyday life as it jumps into my face.

I have found a new love for scrap booking and crafts. I mean, I have always enjoyed doing it.. but now, now it's becoming a new found passion. It calms me and excites me all in one. I guess mostly  because I can live in that moment and direct my attention to something else, something pretty, something with some self gratification. There's no dead daughter, no sadness, no grief, no negativity.. just me and my creations. Funny how something as silly as cutting and pasting, rhinestoning and sewing can ease your mind. After a few discussions, J has given me the spare room. :) This was to be deemed his 'man cave' but he gets the garage AND the shed.. It's only fair I get the little spare room! So over the next few months I will be getting rid of the current furniture and purchasing new furniture, shelving, and desk. I'm pretty excited.. it's something to center my attention on. As the days go forward and I feel like my grief is at a stand still, I need to stay busy. Any moment of sitting feeling unproductive leaves opportunity for satan to pick at my vulnerability. That's my side project that I have taken a liking to.

I also wanted to update everyone on how we're doing with our SFS (spring for sids) fundraising. So far we have received 23 shirt orders! That's 7 away from our goal!! It is absolutely heart warming and unbelievable all of the support and blessings we have received. Complete strangers have donated and I couldn't be any more humbled. I also got word that there was a $50 donation made yesterday and a $20 one done today. I am absolutely thrilled.

There is only 9 days left to make a shirt order. We will be ordering them on April 1st to ensure they get here on time for us to ship out to you by the 29th. To see what the shirts look like and get more information click here. For this next week, I have also decided to do a donation give-away! For every t-shirt donation you make you will get entered into the drawing for this!

It's the Willow Tree Angel of Hope. This angel signifies so much more then I could even express. It is for hope of a better tomorrow. Hope that one day, no parent will have to hear the word SIDS. Hope that one day, all the broken hearted, empty armed mamas and daddy's will somehow be mended. Hope that people will open their eyes and be so very grateful for what they have in front of them. A hope that I will be re-united with MY angel one day. For each t-shirt you order, I will assign you a number and using random.org I will choose the winner. (yes this includes all of you who have already made a donation!) I will announce the winner on April 12--Savanna's 5 month Angelversary. I am HOPEful that doing something for someone else, will make that day somehow more bearablle and bring a little light into the day. This donation give-away will end on midnight of April 11th. (I know the orders will be closed the 1st, but if you make at least a $20 donation, we will enter your name!)

I have also decided to do a dollar to donate give-away. For every dollar you donate, you will get entered into a drawing for one of these.

It is the pregnancy and infant loss awareness colors with a little charm with footprints. The was made out of para cord by my beautiful friend Megan. You can find her facebook page here. She is a blog reader and sent me one of these and I knew I wanted to give one away as well. I wear mine everyday and feel naked without it! This giveaway starts from today until April 20th. The winner will be chosen and sent out immediately so you can have it by the 29th!
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Lastly, I have a short story to share, and a special request to make. It's not often that we meet people that make such an impact on our lives that it forces us to proofread our own lives. People that touch our hearts and make us better just by being a part of your life. I have grown close to many women in this very heartbroken community. So many survivors and courageous women. Women, who even in their darkest days, will reach out to you and help you see the light. Kandice is that person for me. On March 24, 2010 the Lord needed her little angel Kamryn Jaymes back. Kandice contacted me the day after Savanna died.. and she reached out to me. Over time, she became someone I have come to lean on in my darkest times, and who- I hope- I have been a leaning post for her. We have come to care so much for one another. She is one of those people I feel as if I have known my whole life. We have only met in real life once, and known each other for 4.5 short months. But there is no time with her.. I truly consider her one of my very best friends and sister. Her faith is strong and has taught me so much of who I am. She has her weak moments, her times of darkness, but always finds her refuge in the Lord. I will receive a text, a message, a scripture verse or quote.. always at the right moment. We both believe our girls are BFF's in Heaven! After all.. we both share the ladybug as our signs from our girls.

Those who are aware of your dates will note that tomorrow is March 24. Tomorrow, will mark the one year Angel-versary of sweet Kamryn joining the Lord's side in Heaven. It also signifies the day that changed my dear friend's life forever. And though I know this month, this week has been so surreal, so painful, so numbing, and shocking for her, she has still managed to find some ounce of energy she has to comfort me as I prepare for Savanna's birthday. So I ask you this.. as a mother to another mother, as a baby loss mama to another, as a child of Christ to another, as a person to another person... I encourage you to help my very best friend Kandice and her family remember Kamryn. Honor Kamryn.. The family has asked that everyone wear pink in honor of their sweet little angel. Take pictures if you can so they can add them to her scrap book. (you can email pictures to me if you like if you do not know Kandice personally and I will ensure they get to her) Wear your pink and remember the little angel that blessed this family and is changing the world. Because of Kamryn and because of Savanna.. they have maneuvered the clouds and blended Kandice's path with mine. Although I hate this is how we had to come to meet, I'm so grateful to have her in my life. So wear your pink tomorrow, say a prayer and lift this family up.. And the next time you see a ladybug, think not only of Savanna--but sweet Savanna and precious Kamryn bouncing through the clouds hand in hand.

Kamryn Jaymes December 22, 2009 - March 24, 2010